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Jon Huntsman spotted in “Mad Max” costume, car, chasing rival campaign busses
8/28/2011 8:00 AM Matt Rock -
GOP Presidential candidate and former Utah Governor Jon Huntsman has reportedly been spotted chasing after the VIP campaign busses of his opposing primary contenders, driving a black 1973 Ford GT Falcon and donning an all-leather outfit with one arm missing from his jacket. The low-polling candidate has not actually violated any laws or caused any damage, though authorities are keeping a close eye on the situation.
“I'm not really sure what to think about this,” said fellow GOP candidate Mitt Romney of his fellow Mormon's peculiar actions. “Is this supposed to symbolize that the world will fall into some dusty dystopiate hell-scape where armies of gangs slaughter the innocent to get a hold of gasoline? Because that sounds more like the sort of thing you'd hear coming out of Democrats.”
Others have a more practical explanation for Huntsman's “Mad Max”- inspired getup. “I think he's just trying to slow down the rest of the field,” said Michele Bachmann, another GOP primary contender. “If he can sabotage our busses by putting bananas in our tailpipes, or run us off the road, or maybe rendezvous with us and claim a bridge is out and that we need to take a long, pointless detour, maybe he'll become relevant in the polls. At least, that's what the Martians told me in my sleepy-time brain movies last night.”
“The stuff I said about Jews was uncalled for, even though they did murder Jesus,” said actor Mel Gibson, whom we contacted in the hopes of finding out why Huntsman may have been inspired by the iconic motion picture hero Mad Max. “Is this Huntsman guy Jewish? I'll bet you he is.” When we explained to Mr. Gibson that Jon Huntsman is in fact a Mormon, and that we were offended by his phrasing, the former action star continued. “Mormons don't control Hollywood. They control Salt Lake City though. Have you ever been to Salt Lake City? I'll bet you...” we decided to end our interview with Mel Gibson at that point, to avoid any PTP staffers from punching him.
Jon Huntsman was not available for comment when PTP contacted his campaign staff in the hopes of finding answers regarding his apparent Mad Max homage. We sent PTP field reporters Floyd Harden and Alyson Durden to Huntsman's New Hampshire headquarters in the hopes of finding out more, but they reported that they were greeted at the door by a strange little mullet-sporting neanderthal boy wielding a boomerang, who growled and grunted at Alyson until she offered him a cookie. - Return to Previous Page
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