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Obama Squanders Millions in Middle Eastern Card Game
4/24/2011 10:18 PM Gonzo
KABUL, AF--- At the invitation of Afghan president Hamid Karzai, Barack Obama boarded Air Force One and embarked on a red-eye flight to Kabul to meet the Afghan leader for a friendly card game.
“It was an opportunity we couldn't afford to pass up,” Said U.S. national security advisor Jim Jones. “This administration must improve its relationship with president Karzai if it hopes to do anything about the growing Taliban presence in Afghanistan.”
Upon arriving in Kabul for the game, Obama and several of his cabinet members were delighted to discover that another man of interest was in attendance. Pakistan president Asif Ali Zardari had arrived in Kabul only 30 minutes before the president. “It was perfect,” Jones said of Zardari’s presence, “a chance to kill two birds with one stone.”
Obama didn’t jump into politics right away: “We wanted to be as casual as possible,” the president said. “The beginning of the night was all about the game.” President Obama started the game off well, stealing a large pot from Karzai with a straight in his first hand. "I didn't even have to draw any cards," Obama said with a grin.
As the game dragged into the long hours, the president’s luck started running out. Karzai and Zardari were up $2.4 million in U.S. taxpayer's dollars. “It was a slaughter,” Jones recalled. All of a sudden, Karzai just caught on fire, he couldn't be stopped. It was surreal.”
A few hands later, the president was ready to call it quits. He smiled and shook hands with the leaders, and when he did he saw what he said, “might have been a card” in Karzai’s sleeve. “I think he might have been hiding something,” Obama said. “But Hamid is trustworthy, so I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.”
“It was legitimate,” Karzai said. “Mr. Obama was just upset because his game fell apart. It happens to all of us from time to time.” Karzai also stated that Obama asked for a rematch the following week. “That wasn’t feasible, though,” Karzai joked, “I’m bowling with the Taliban next week.” - Return to Previous Page
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