Pardon The Pundit News Feed
The fight for equal rights and dignity for corporations
9/2/2011 3:00 PM Ron Placone
The City of Aurora, CO is proposing to allow corporation Gaylord Entertainment the right to vote. This proposal was not met without controversy and objection, however this could mean significant progress for the continued fight for equal rights for corporations.
Hall Eric Burton, chairperson of the CCLU, Corporation Civil Liberties Union, has been at the forefront of the Corporation rights’ battle for decades.
“Why shouldn’t a Corporation have the right to vote just like a person? If you prick a Corporation, does it not bleed?” pleads Burton with tears in his eyes from passion. Standing at 5’11’’, a cigar in his mouth, and a Perry/Bachmann 2012 pin on his very Saks-Fifth-Avenue lapel, one would never assume Hall to come from privilege, nor can one imagine the sacrifice he has endured in his quest for equal Corporation rights.
“When I began this battle, I knew it would be long, through lobbying and donations from various oppressed and under-represented Corporations I managed to get through my first year, though my salary only clocked in at around $80,000.” He explains, “It was tough, I mean, when I went to Vegas I had to stay in a mid-sized suite at the Luxor, really roughing it, but, I knew I was fighting for a greater cause.”
Corporations, according to Burton, are often the topic of ridicule and the scapegoats for inefficient Government.
“People talk about gay people and minorities being discriminated against, and to that I say, ok, maybe, but we all know where the real prejudice is, how many Corporation pride parades have you seen? And sure, technically corporations can marry, but it’s called a merger, and who doesn’t complain about those?”
Burton fully supports the Aurora proposal.
“This is America, and if we don’t live in a country where an entity comprised of people in which a few of them make decisions for the rest doesn’t have the right to vote, well, then, are we really free?”
Regardless of the outcome in Aurora, Burton plans to continue his fight for equal rights for Corporations.
"We’ve made a lot of progress, in fact, I firmly believe in my lifetime we’ll see the first Corporation President." - Return to Previous Page
ADVERTISING - COMEDY AT THE ARLINGTON DRAFTHOUSE
Cool Cow Comedy Showcase in The Green Room - ONLY $10 (Featuring Ryan Conner)
Jay Pharoah from Saturday Night Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan from Super Troopers and Beerfest
Cinematic Titanic (Creators of Mystery Science Theater) LIVE at the Arlington Drafthouse
Porkchop Volcano - Live Short Form Improv Comedy in The Green Room - FREE ADMISSION
Matt Braunger from Letterman, The Tonight Show and MADtv at the Arlington Drafthouse
Neal Brennan Co-Creator of Chappelle’s Show at the Arlington Drafthouse
Powered By Hypertext Media
© PardonThePundit - ABOUT
Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful,
and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.