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Vatican confirms US east coast earthquake is a sign of the beginning of the "end of days," predict the rapture can happen "any time now"
9/4/2011 3:05 PM Alyson Durden
A spokesman for the Vatican confirmed that the recent earthquake that rocked the United States’ east coast region, prompting widespread panic, water main breaks, power outages, school closings, metro delays and the list goes on -- and this is just within the city of Washington, DC, combined with Hurricane Irene, is proof positive that the Biblical ‘end of days’ has begun. They predict the US Capitol to be visited by hordes of locusts and then frogs.
“We are so gratified to be alive at this glorious time in history. We have been waiting for this for two millennia and cannot wait to finally go home to heaven,” said Father Timmons. “People said when the Rwanda genocide happened and the world refused to react that this glorious time was upon us, but everyone knows events only count when they happen to western countries that have predominantly white populations.”
Religious leaders of other dominations and religions scoffed at the notion. “Those crazy Christians are always predicting the end of the world, what’s up with that?” said one who spoke on the condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak on the record for his Buddhist temple. “At some point you have to ask yourself, ‘how many times can we get this wrong and still keep predicting? I mean, if your stockbroker gave you terrible advice all the time, you’d find a new one. I know I would."
Authorities have expressed concern that this announcement might prove to be disastrous for many. Right before the last rapture prediction hundreds of people gave away everything they owned -- of course some sold it but they used it all to get out to where they were told to be. They quit their jobs and when it didn't happen, they had nothing. Michael Huffington told us that he thought it was fate. "God has always taken care of me and I have faith he will do it now." - Return to Previous Page
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