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God blames Hurricane Irene on Michele Bachmann
8/30/2011 9:00 PM Floyd Harden
God has a bone to pick with Michele Bachmann. Responding to remarks the Republican Presidential candidate made recently, in which she said Hurricane Irene was God’s way of telling politicians to rein in spending, God has pointed His finger squarely at Bachmann.
God made His accusation via a tweet that went over Twitter’s 140 character limit. However, God being the Supreme Being and all, Twitter posted His entire tweet.
In His tweet, God spoke unto his Twitter followers saying, “Okay, technically, Hurricane Irene is my bad, but Michele Bachmann should take the wrath for this one too because, if it weren’t for her, I never would have unleashed my awful vengeance upon America. She’s got me so upset lately, I don’t know whether I’m smiting up the east coast with a hurricane or letting the San Francisco Giants win the World Series. Wait, I did what? Oops!”
Bachmann was unavailable for comment, but her campaign released a statement that they hoped would clarify the candidate’s position: “Congresswoman Bachmann is not responsible for Hurricane Irene. She knows that God only takes a hand in human affairs when Michele specifically asks Him to do so and she’s certain she only asked for an earthquake this time out, not a hurricane. Michele forgives God for getting it wrong. He’s a very busy deity and nobody’s perfect, right?”
Soon after God’s tweet was posted, Allah, Shiva the Destroyer, Odin, and Charlie Sheen all showed their support for the Almighty by re-tweeting God’s message to their followers, though in Sheen’s case another tweet was forthcoming, in which Sheen expressed his belief that God is just a figment of Charlie’s imagination.
God responded by giving Sheen a raging case of herpes. Again. - Return to Previous Page
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