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Tim Pawlenty to host new Fox News show
9/1/2011 9:02 AM Matt Rock
Former Minnesota Governor and former 2012 GOP Presidential candidate Tim Pawlenty is set to begin hosting a new one-hour Fox News program later this Fall. This marks the first time Pawlenty has been mentioned in the news since he dropped out of the Presidential race following his surprising third-place finish in the Iowa straw poll recently.
The new show, titled “Pawlenty of News,” will feature Tim Pawlenty interviewing a series of low-key Presidential candidates, Tea Party voters who will insult the President, and political conspiracy theorists who will question the President's birth certificate, rant and rave about the tenth and fourteenth amendments, and occasionally attempt to communicate with Ronald Reagan using a Ouija board.
“We also agreed to occasionally allow Mr. Pawlenty to showcase special reports and editorials,” said the press release. “Mr. Pawlenty was adamant about being allowed to talk about his `Team Edward' membership, his affection for the game `Dungeons and Dragons,' and his riveting days as the seminal fan club president for 80's hair metal band `Warrant,' before he was stripped of his title for stalking the band's original singer, Adam Shore, and his subsequent arrest in 1987 for stealing a pair of Shore's leopard-print `banana hammock' underpants.”
“I'm excited to see the new show,” said former Pawlenty campaign manager Nick Ayers. “I think T-Paw has a lot of excellent qualities that are constantly overshadowed by his outward nerdy appearance. This new show might show people the Pawlenty that we all know and love. He isn't just a level 30 ranger with an almost comical affection for 80's glam rock. He cares about the issues. The issues! And also, men's underwear. But mainly issues!”
The premier episodes during the new program's debut week are set to feature interviews with bottom-tier GOP Presidential candidates Jon Huntsman, Jimmy McMillan, Thaddeus McCotter, Andy Martin, and Jonathon Sharkey (PTP has confirmed that at least three of those are real people). They'll also interview a few members of the band Warrant, from their current lineup, and in a special report, Pawlenty will visit a seminar on how to throw better critical attacks and make the most out of healing spells in “D&D.” - Return to Previous Page
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