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Study finds Democrats, Republicans equally offended by political satire
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9/10/2011 9:00 PM Matt Rock - A new study conducted by Johns Hopkins University has discovered that Democrats and Republicans are both subject to being offended by any political satire or other comedic works that poke fun directly at their beliefs. The white paper produced by their 9,000 hours of cumulative study concludes that political satire of any kind is only appreciated by members of either party when it supports their own beliefs, the response to which has been a resounding “well f---ing duh!” from political satire sources like PTP.

The study consisted of 512 Democrats and 512 Republicans watching two films and reading four articles each. Bizarrely, the results of the study on both sides of the aisle exactly mirrored each other. In both cases, 80% of the participants were offended by jokes regarding their own party, while 15% had no idea jokes were being told, and the remaining 5% didn't “get it.” On the other hand, 80% of participants thought jokes that supported their own beliefs were hilarious.

“They had us watch a stand-up comic talking about how stupid Bush was, and how most of the current GOP candidates are also morons,” said one Republican participant, who asked to remain anonymous. “I thought I was going to break the damn television set. It was an outrage! But the next video made fun of Hillary Clinton. That one was dog-gone hilarious, I thought.”

“I don't think the study proved anything,” said another anonymous participant, this one a Democrat. “They had us read an article that said John Boehner eats newborn puppies every morning. Obviously that's true, I mean look at him! But the second article was just stupid, and probably racist, claiming the President was heading back to Kenya for a family reunion. I wish Texas and Arizona would just secede so we could be done with this trash.”

“I honestly wasn't surprised by this study's results,” said Matt Rock, 31, Chief of Staff at Pardon the Pundit and an aficionado of talking about himself in third person. “I mean, really, do you read the responses we get at Pardon the Pundit? 95% of the time, people don't even know we're publishing fake news. How much do you want to bet someone will leave a comment on Facebook about this article that proves they thought Johns Hopkins University actually conducted this study? Seriously, it says `satire' right at the top of the page! Yeesh!”
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Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful, and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.