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Ron Paul stumbles into accidental press interview
9/24/2011 3:26 PM Matt Rock -
GOP Presidential hopeful Ron Paul briefly managed to make headlines this afternoon when he accidentally walked up to a podium in front of a press pool that was actually set up for fellow candidate and fellow Texan Rick Perry. The Libertarian favorite found himself answering questions not about his platform, but rather, about his identity.
“Who the heck are you?” asked a reporter from Fox News, sitting in a lawn chair below the short stage outside a farm in Iowa. “Are you here to check the microphones? Some guy already came through and did that.”
“Oh, sorry, I was trying to get back to my campaign bus,” explained Paul, seemingly unaware of the stage he'd stumbled upon. “I'll just be heading off then, my bad.”
“Hey, do you work for the Perry campaign?” a reporter from MSNBC then asked, apparently oblivious to the identity of the Presidential candidate. “Think I could get a quote from you on how Governor Perry feels about the recent execution of Troy Davis?”
“No, sorry, I don't work for Governor Perry,” Paul replied, obviously agitated by the question. “I'm Ron Paul. The Congressman? From the 14th district of Texas?”
“Sorry, not ringing any bells,” said a CNN journalist. “Hey, are you any relation to that Rand Paul guy?”
“What? Yes, he's my son! How can you not know who I am? I'm running for President for Pete's sake!”
“President, huh? Sure, Grandpa,” said a Reuters photographer from the back. “If you were running for President, I think we'd all know about it. We have press credentials. This is what we do!”
“Are you people kidding me? I finished in second place in the Ames Straw Poll!”
“Dude, you're not Governor Perry!” said someone from MTV. “Wait, do you work for the Perry campaign? What's his official position on Jersey Shore getting picked up for another season, bro?”
“Ugh! [expletive] you people! I'M RON PAUL! I'M RUNNING FOR [expletive] PRESIDENT! Pull your [expletive] [expletive] out of your [expletive] [expletive] and do your [expletive] [expletive] [expletive] job's you [expletive] [expletive] donkey-[expletive] [expletive]-heels! [expletive]!”
Shortly after Ron Paul stormed off the stage, PTP confirmed that he is, in fact, running for President. According to Wikipedia, Ron Paul is a doctor, and has been a Congressman for a wicked long time, since, like, before the first Star Wars movie came out, and stuff. How none of us journalists had ever heard of him remains unclear. - Return to Previous Page
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