Pardon The Pundit News Feed
Santorum switches to Dick
10/1/2011 8:46 AM Floyd Harden
Political observers are scratching their heads today after Rick Santorum announced that, from now on, he wants to be called Dick. Santorum’s announcement, coming as it does in the midst of a presidential campaign, is puzzling to many, though an anonymous source close to the candidate believes Santorum may have good reason for switching to Dick.
According to the source, “Rick, uh, I mean, Dick just got tired of the whole google thing, so he changed his name so that when people think of him, they’ll think of Dick. Like when they see him debate next time, they’ll be all ‘Dick sure is taking a beating!’ or ‘Wow, that Dick has balls!’ or ‘Holy Crap! Did Bachmann just cut off Dick?!’ Anyway, the name sort of fits him. He’s always been a total Dick to me.”
Some have speculated that Santorum may be changing his name from Rick to Dick in order to differentiate himself from Rick Perry, though members of the press who cover Perry think he’s kind of a Dick, too.
Santorum himself tried to be nonchalant about the whole thing. “Look, I’m just glad to finally put that disgusting ‘Google Santorum’ stuff behind me. Oh, crap, what the hell am I saying? What I mean is this has been a huge pain in my rear and, ah Jeez, I did it again, didn’t I?”
A quick check of Google suggests that Santorum may have miscalculated. Now, when his new name is typed into the search engine, the same images that popped up before are joined by pictures that most Americans find even more offensive, those of the candidate himself. - Return to Previous Page
ADVERTISING - COMEDY AT THE ARLINGTON DRAFTHOUSE
Jay Pharoah from Saturday Night Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan from Super Troopers and Beerfest
Cinematic Titanic (Creators of Mystery Science Theater) LIVE at the Arlington Drafthouse
Porkchop Volcano - Live Short Form Improv Comedy in The Green Room - FREE ADMISSION
Matt Braunger from Letterman, The Tonight Show and MADtv at the Arlington Drafthouse
Neal Brennan Co-Creator of Chappelle’s Show at the Arlington Drafthouse
Powered By Hypertext Media
© PardonThePundit - ABOUT
Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful,
and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.