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Wall Street Executive almost notices “Occupy Wall Street” protests
10/3/2011 3:30 PM Matt Rock
As the now-infamous Wall Street protests, dubbed “Occupy Wall Street,” enter their third week of demonstrations, witnesses report that an executive nearly took notice of the large gatherings near her place of employment. Emotions ran high as the woman turned briefly toward the crowd of protesters, but onlookers were quickly let down as she went back to texting someone on her Blackberry. This marks the first time a Wall Street executive showed signs of not being completely oblivious to the demonstrations.
“I almost crapped in my pants,” said Tom Kent, 23, of Trenton New Jersey. “At first, I thought maybe I did crap in them, but then I realized it was just the BO coming off the girl standing next to me. I thought for a moment there that after three long weeks of protests, we almost made someone take notice. It didn't happen though. We'll need to keep trying.”
Reuters confirmed the identity of the woman as one Melanie Goldberg, 34, of Manhattan. Goldberg is believed at this hour to be a low-level accounts executive at Bank of America, earning barely enough in yearly salary and bonuses to be considered the “1%” that the protesters are angry with. Goldberg is believed to work from 9am to 5pm Monday through Friday, and to take her lunch breaks somewhere between noon and 2pm. It is unclear why Goldberg was out of her office when the siting took place at 3:30pm.
The “Occupy Wall Street” protests in New York City have inspired numerous other protests all throughout the United States, with more protests being organized around the nation day by day. Several celebrities have endorsed the protests, including legendary rock band Radiohead, contemporary scholars Noam Chomsky and Salman Rushdie, and comedienne Roseanne Barr, who made it onto this list for reasons unbeknownst to anyone at PTP.
Many supporters and media outlets have compared the Wall Street protests to the famed “Arab Spring,” the massive ongoing revolutions throughout the Arab world. However, some Arab leaders have expressed their disdain regarding the constant barrage of similarities drawn between them.
“How dare American journalists compare what we've done to a bunch of grotty American teenagers,” said Mahmoud Jibril, transitional Prime Minister and Chairman of the Executive Board of the National Transitional Council in Libya. “There are no real similarities between the Arab revolutions throughout our region of the world, which are drastically changing the landscape of the world's politics, and these pot-smoking, Frito-munching hipsters in New York City making zero impact on anything, except for when they buy their ironic T-shirts with their dad's credit card that was issued by the very companies they're protesting. Don't get me wrong, I'm behind their efforts entirely. But driving through heavy traffic in a gas-guzzling Volkswagen to tote around protest signs made with products from publicly-traded corporations is hardly the same thing as picking up a gun and storming the palace of a dictator. But hey, keep saying what you're saying, I guess.” - Return to Previous Page
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