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Congress makes big push toward a greener Fed with “Hot Air” program
10/7/2011 3:05 PM Matt Rock
Speaker of the House John Boehner announced moments ago that a new surprisingly bi-partisan green energy bill narrowly passed a house vote earlier today. Titled “The Hot Air Energy Act of 2011,” the bill promises to harness the most powerful untapped energy source in the United States – Congress' mouths – to help power the region surrounding Washington DC.
“I'm proud that Republicans and Democrats could come together to make this bill happen,” said Boehner, speaking about the bill that is expected to quickly pass through the Senate. “I think the perception of Congress held by the American people will drastically change when they see that our hot air is powering their iPods, cell phones, Playstations, and microwaves. We're always called a `do nothing Congress.' Well, providing electricity for everyone within 225 miles of DC has to count for something.”
The bill will pay $43.5 million to General Electric, and provide the company with an additional $12 million in tax subsidies over the next twelve years, to affix over 800 specially-designed wind turbines to the mouths of politicians throughout the United States, including the 435 Representatives and 100 Senators of Congress, all 50 Governors, and President Obama's entire cabinet and administrative staff. The system is believed to be capable of generating a staggering 1.22 million kilowatts of electricity, roughly half of the power output of Niagara Falls.
A similar bill was advocated by the Carter administration from 1979 to 1980, which hoped to harness the power of politicians blowing smoke in that era. The program would have attached earlier iterations of the same turbine to the faces of politicians whenever they conversed with constituents or business owners. However, the technology didn't exist then to make the program cost-effective. - Return to Previous Page
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