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Romney’s Presidential dream comes true
10/13/2011 9:40 AM Floyd Harden -
That Mitt Romney is a real go-getter. Romney, who the press has declared a lock to win the Republican nomination, had himself sworn in as President this morning and wasted no time issuing orders to military commanders, White House Staff and even Michelle Obama, telling the former First Lady “Back off on the jumping jacks, woman, and make me a sandwich!”
President Romney was sworn in by Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts at a simple Oval Office ceremony attended by close family and friends, Congressional leaders, and Sarah Palin, who was there to remind everybody how much everybody loves her. President Romney’s first official act was to award the Presidential Medal of Freedom to the press “for putting your faith in a middle-class multi-millionaire who is living proof that, in America, anything is possible if you work hard, play by the rules, and you’re Mitt Romney.” Romney then revoked former President Obama’s Chief Executive washroom privileges and asked him to “kindly vacate the premises as soon as Michelle brings me my sandwich.”
But Obama had no intention of giving up without a fight. Firm in his conviction that Romney’s actions were unconstitutional and angry that Michelle didn’t make him a sandwich, too, the former President cleared his throat, stomped his foot, negotiated with himself, agreed to make concessions, sacrificed two or three core principles and threatened to cave unless his demands were ignored. In the end, Romney ignored Obama’s demands, handing the former President a partial victory.
Later in the day, President Romney set about the business of governing. The President proposed sweeping legislation to eliminate taxes on capital gains, privatize sunlight and have his own chiseled features chiseled onto Mount Rushmore. By mid-afternoon, Congress had passed the President’s legislation unanimously and America was once again restored to its former greatness. As he sat in the Oval Office reflecting on his accomplishments, Romney took a bite out of his sandwich and waxed philosophical. “I wonder how this sandwich would taste if I weren’t Barack Obama dreaming I was Mitt Romney. Wait, what did I just say?”
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
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