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Hillary Rodham Clinton to become a man
6/30/2011 8:32 AM Frank Walters -
Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton has decided that she no longer wants to be a woman.
The former First Lady said she would undergo a sex change operation next week in a suburban Washington D.C. clinic. The reason behind the move, she said, is revenge against her husband, Bill.
"You all know how many times that jerk has cheated on me," Clinton said. "Well, now my payback to him is making that fool get in bed with me as a man every night."
Dr. Thomas Richards, who will be performing the surgery, said Clinton's procedure would not take as long as most of his other patients have.
"She is already half way to being a guy," Richards said. "Heck, with that short hair and deep voice I thought she was a man the first time she came to my office."
Clinton believes the gender switch will not affect her ability to administer foreign policy, her primary duty as Secretary of State.
"I'll get more respect in most countries by being a man, especially in the Muslim world," Clinton said.
She also added that she would threaten military action against any world leader who jokes about her sex change.
"The first time I get called a 'he-she' somewhere, that country gets blown off the map," Clinton said.
President Barack Obama was asked earlier today for his reaction to Clinton's decision. Obama told reporters that he is actually pleased with her choice to have the procedure done.
"Sometimes you just have to shake things up a bit," Obama said. "If this works out for her, I just might encourage my entire cabinet to have the surgery." - Return to Previous Page
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