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Gadhafi in hell – the Pardon the Pundit interview
10/21/2011 8:00 PM Floyd Harden -
Pardon the Pundit has scooped all of the major news outlets by getting a reporter into hell for an exclusive interview with Muammar Gadhafi, the former Libyan dictator who is now too dead to be reached otherwise. By convincing Frank, our least favorite and most gullible reporter, to steal a sweet old lady’s heart medicine, club a baby seal, mug a girl scout and step in front of a church bus bound for glory, PTP has gained access not only to Gadhafi but to a number of other former despots, terrorists, career politicians, mimes and IRS agents, all suffering for all of eternity.
Here, via Ouija board chat room, is PTP’s exclusive Gadhafi interview.
Frank: Mr. Gadhafi?
Gadhafi: Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot! Oh, what a crazy dream! Wait… what is this? What has happened to me? Am I dead here? I am. I am dead! Praise Allah! Hold on… where the hell are all my virgins? Dammit, I was promised virgins!
Frank: Mr. Gadhafi?
Gadhafi: Condi? Is that you?
Frank: No, sir. It’s Frank with Pardon the Pundit.
Gadhafi: Pardon the Pundit? Crap!!! This is hell!
Frank: Yes, sir.
Gadhafi: But that cannot be. I am a good guy who just went a little bit crazy for thirty or forty years. Hey! Up there! Do you hear me up there? I was just kidding around with all that grinding the bones of innocents stuff! What?! Can no one take a joke anymore?!
Frank: Mr. Gadhafi, if we could start the interview…
Gadhafi: Why? You’re afraid we’re going to run out of time?
Frank: Sir, with your record of human rights abuses, your ties to terrorist organizations and your involvement with the Lockerbie bombing, did you really expect to make it into heaven?
Gadhafi: Okay, when you put it this way, it is making me sound like the bad guy.
Frank: Well…
Gadhafi: You are wrong about me. I’m no Hitler or Bush. I’m just a humble dictator content to go about crushing my people until the day I die.
Frank: Yesterday.
Gadhafi: Truly, you are annoying me.
Frank: I have that effect on people. Cheer up, Colonel. I do have one piece of good news for you. I’ve arranged for the two of us to be roommates until the end of time.
Gadhafi: I wish I was deader.
Next week, Frank interviews Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden and the demon currently residing inside Mitt Romney. - Return to Previous Page
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