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Two arrests of Dr. Cornel West inspire second White House beer summit
10/23/2011 8:40 AM Matt Rock -
This afternoon, President Obama called for a four-way “beer summit” between himself, NYPD Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly, Washington DC Metro Police Chief Cathy L. Lanier, and civil rights activist Dr. Cornel West, who was arrested twice in the past week, in Washington DC on the 17th, and in Harlem New York on the 21st.
“Let me be clear. I think the arrest of Dr. West was wrong. Also, beer summits are fun,” explained President Obama during a press conference early this morning. “I really like beer, and it's rare I get to come up with an excuse to drink any. A summit is as good an excuse as I'll get. And if you've never drank beers with cops, let me tell you, you don't know what you're missing. Those guys can put some alcohol away, you wouldn't believe it.”
“To drink a beer with President Obama ain't gonna be no bother,” said Professor West, widely regarded as one of the greatest contemporary civil rights leaders, and also, a big fan of making everything he says rhyme. “We'll tip a glass, chat with class, and if we drink enough, I might just fall on my ass! We'll talk some sports, we'll eat some pie, and maybe if I'm friendly the cops will arrest some other guy!”
However, not everyone is looking forward to the beer summit. “I'm sure Cornel West is a nice guy, and I'd never turn down an opportunity to sit with the President and talk about the issues of the day,” said DC Metro's Cathy Lanier. “But there's no way I'm drinking Guinness. I'm a Heineken fan, and I don't drink mud. They either change the beer menu, or I'll have to sit this one out, and probably arrest Cornel West again.”
“Heineken? What kind of a cop drinks Heineken?” Asked Commissioner Kelly. “No wonder DC traffic is such a disaster. They all drink sissy crap! And she'll arrest Dr. West if we don't drink what they want? Screw that! I'll stop and frisk him! No, I'll strip-search and frisk him! No, I'll strip-search and frisk and beat him! Them DC cops aren't gonna top us NYPD. No way, no how!” - Return to Previous Page
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