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Congress Announces Home Depot Run to Tackle Debt Ceiling
5/19/2011 12:45 PM Nexus -
After months of partisan bickering, leaders of Congress agreed this week to take a trip to the Washington-area Home Depot to buy supplies to finally tackle the debt ceiling project they've been putting off.
The government's goal is to raise the debt ceiling high enough to avoid the doomsday scenarios that have been issued by Wall Street bankers, renowned economists and licensed contractors.
While the announcement is welcomed by many, others—especially those with strong Tea Party support—are ardently against the trip to the major hardware retailer.
“The current ceiling is high enough,” said Rep. Ron Paul (R-Texas). “I have yet to hear reports of anyone hitting their heads as they walk through the halls of the Capitol Building. Nor do I recall Shaquille O' Neal being elected to the 112th Congress.”
Meanwhile, Speaker of the House John Boehner celebrated the concessions he was able to secure from Democrats for Republican support.
“Everyone is going to chip in for gas money, and instead of renting Home Depot's trucks to transport everything, we'll use the Secret Service SUVs,” he said.
Neither a blueprint or a shopping list has been released to the public. Numerous sources have claimed wide-ranging materials from wood to stucco. One even heard the raised debt ceiling would feature arches.
At a press conference President Obama lauded Congress for working together, but cautioned about the work ahead.
“This is a major task for America. Already handprints mar the door frames from people slapping the top as they walk through, like they are back in high school.”
The President also mentioned he would like to join the shopping trip, because he likes the hot dogs served at food carts found in most Home Depot entrances.
"I like skylights," Vice President Joseph Biden added. - Return to Previous Page
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