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George W. Bush: “Perry makes Texas look bad, heh-heh-heh”
11/10/2011 8:00 PM Matt Rock -
Former President George W. Bush lashed out earlier this evening against current Texas Governor and GOP presidential candidate Rick Perry, claiming the gaffe-prone primary contestant “makes Texas look bad.” The quote, which came during an interview that aired tonight on a public access TV show in Texas that celebrates the awesomeness of Ted Nugent, has left many analysts and Washington insiders gasping for breath.
“That Perry makes Texas look bad, heh-heh-heh,” said the 43rd President. “People thought I was a bumbling moron who couldn't string two sentences together without offending someone or embarrassing myself, but Perry? I look like a dang Mensa member alongside that joker! I can't for the life of me figure out how that dude gets through a presidential debate without his underwear changing color.”
Perry, who has had a string of horrendous public speaking gaffes along the campaign trail thus far, refused to comment when we stopped him outside a restaurant earlier today. His campaign manager, Rob Johnson, did however agree to briefly chat with us. “Governor Perry does know how to speak English, and yes, he really does have a brain. I've seen the CAT scan and I know there's a mass of stuff up there. And doctors assure us it's brain, and not fecal matter.”
We asked Mr. Johnson what he thought about President Bush's comments. “Bush said what?! Really? I... I... I don't know what to make of that. If Bush thinks Perry is an idiot, then what does that say about Perry? What does that say about the people who support him? What does that... oh God... what does that say about... me? What will my kids think? My wife... sweet Jesus, she's probably already cheating on me! Wouldn't you if your husband was the campaign manager for... for a guy that George Walker Bush thinks is a moron? What do I do? How do I go on? How can I live knowing that Governor Rick Perry is the most embarrassingly ignorant Presidential candidate in the history of the United States?! Tell me! How will I live?!”
One day at a time, Rob. One day at a time. - Return to Previous Page
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