Pardon The Pundit News Feed
Cain promises to get tough on Ubeki-beki-beki-stan-stan
12/1/2011 3:00 PM Coyle
In an attempt to legitimize his oft-criticized foreign policy credentials, Herman Cain promised to get tough on countries like Ubeki-beki-beki-stan-stan, which Cain fears could be a real threat to America's national security in the years ahead.
During a colloquium at the Council on Foreign Relations, the Republican frontrunner for President argued that President Barack Obama was concentrating on the wrong threats, pointing out that China was still years away from developing nuclear capabilities.
However, Cain pointed out that Ubeki-beki-beki-stan-stan has long-standing ties with North Korea, whose leader, Kim Jong-Il, has expressed a desire to give nuclear weapons to nations who are unfriendly to the United States.
"Last week, I just watched this documentary, called 'Team America: World Police,' that had a profound influence on my thinking of foreign policy matters," said Cain to the audience during the gathering. "Of course, all those F.A.G.'s in the liberal media don't want anyone to see it, since it really exposes them for the hypocrites that they are."
Cain expanded on his thoughts, pointing out that a new "Axis of Evil" was forming in the world, centering on Ubeki-beki-beki-stan-stan but also including others nations such as Dirka-dirka-dirka-stan.
"As far as I am concerned, the only way to protect ourselves from their evil machinations is to surround Ubeki-beki-beki-stan-stan with an electric fence," said Cain. "That way, we can be sure that Ubeki-beki-beki-stan-stan can not threaten us and our freedom."
"Of course, being such a large country, this will not be an easy project to undertake," continued Cain. "But I promise all of you that we will fence every inch of that border. From its western border along the Andes all the way to the Himalayas in the east, Ubeki-beki-beki-stan-stan will be surrounded and neutralized by my 9-9-9 Fence: nine-feet high, nine-feet thick and 9000 volts." - Return to Previous Page
ADVERTISING - COMEDY AT THE ARLINGTON DRAFTHOUSE
Cool Cow Comedy Showcase in The Green Room - ONLY $10 (Featuring Ryan Conner)
Jay Pharoah from Saturday Night Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan from Super Troopers and Beerfest
Cinematic Titanic (Creators of Mystery Science Theater) LIVE at the Arlington Drafthouse
Porkchop Volcano - Live Short Form Improv Comedy in The Green Room - FREE ADMISSION
Matt Braunger from Letterman, The Tonight Show and MADtv at the Arlington Drafthouse
Neal Brennan Co-Creator of Chappelle’s Show at the Arlington Drafthouse
Powered By Hypertext Media
© PardonThePundit - ABOUT
Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful,
and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.