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“Run it up the flagpole day” confuses most GOP candidates
1/2/2012 3:05 PM Matt Rock -
A January 2nd pseudo-holiday known as “run it up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes it day,” traditionally intended as a day where people are encouraged to dish up the best their creativity has to offer and make suggestions at their workplace to kick off the new year, has been woefully misinterpreted by a slew of GOP candidates who are going all-out with their patriotism today.
“If you run it up a flagpole, I will always salute it, unlike that Muslim Obama,” said Michele Bachmann, shortly after calling her husband to make sure he wasn't gaying anything up. “When Iowa elects me President tomorrow, I'm going to make this holiday just as major and important as Independence Day!”
Meanwhile, Gingrich saw great potential in the holiday. “If you read my book `America is super-awesome, and so is Newt,' written by Newt Gingrich, available on Amazon for $3.99, you'll learn that this holiday was originally celebrated by the pilgrims in 1843, when there was only one flagpole in the whole of these United States. They saluted it and pledged to disavow socialism and Islam and homosexuality and Hollywood actors. They were real patriots back then, during that first World War.”
Not surprisingly, Mitt Romney seemed to be the only candidate who understood the premise of the holiday. “I've heard the phrase tossed around in boardrooms over the years. Don't forget, I am the CEO candidate in this race. Of course, I never have and never would give a flying crap about the ideas proposed by middle-management, because that's the sort of leader America needs. We need someone who ignores the people and really knows how to stop an army of clowns. You go for the juggler. Get it? Juggler? Ha!” - Return to Previous Page
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