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Doctors announce Obama has finally grown a pair
1/5/2012 3:05 PM Matt Rock
Physicians charged with the care of President Obama announced Thursday morning that the Commander in Chief has finally grown a pair, citing his recent recess appointments as solid medical evidence of the fact.
“The President came into office without having a pair. Only in the past week or two have they actually grown into place,” said the medical report written by Dr. Paul Jaubert and others. “We cannot confirm whether this has anything to do with the 2012 elections or not. We also aren't sure if this is a permanent new pair, or if they're little more than substantial growths in the area where a pair would otherwise be. Only time will tell us with any certainty.”
The President, long criticized by the left for backing down too easily and compromising his position to Republicans whenever the going gets tough, is being praised by progressives for the bold, unorthodox move he made when he recess-appointed Richard Cordray as the head of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB).
“I never thought I'd see the day where the President actually pushed something through without allowing the GOP to get their hands all over it first,” said Congressman Barney Frank (D-MA). “If he holds to this as a sort of new initiative, it might make me reconsider retiring from Congress in 2012. We've needed this sort of attitude out of President Obama for a long time now.”
Republicans, however, aren't impressed. “We got used to the President rolling over and taking whatever we were shoveling,” said a teary-eyed John Boehner. “this new pair he's grown means that if he does roll over, there'll be something blocking us from our shoveling antics. That's not cool, man. Not cool! We demand Obama goes back to doing everything we tell him to do, so we can blame him when our bad ideas go sour, and then we can elect someone new to hold his office. He owes us that much, doesn't he?” - Return to Previous Page
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