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Thousands of convicts released from prisons as Governors prank each other
1/13/2012 7:05 AM Matt Rock -
Former Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour, who bizarrely and suddenly pardoned 215 prisoners before leaving office on January 10th of this year, has apparently inspired at least 27 other Governors to follow suit. At this hour, more than 8,450 prisoners have been released in 28 states around the nation, in what many are already calling “the great prison break of 2012.” Why are they releasing all of these convicts? According to many governors, it's little more than a practical joke.
“It's sort of like the gubernatorial version of `planking,' or `Tebowing,' or some other thing `Tosh.0' popularized without having invented,” said Idaho Governor Butch Otter, who recently narrowly edged out Wolf Blitzer as having the coolest animal-themed porno-style name in America, according to Time Magazine. “We yell `BARBOUR!' and then sign a pardon. Everyone gets a pretty big laugh out of it.”
Vermont Governor Peter Shumlin explained the game's rules to PTP over the phone this morning. “You earn points based on what sort of convict you let out. Most non-violent offenders get you one point. Murderers and other dangerous convicts get you two points, or three if they had life sentences. A death row inmate will get you five points. And you can get ten points if you release someone charged with marijuana-related crimes, but only if you smoke a joint with them.”
“Of course, if you release a convict and they break the law again within thirty days, you lose 25 points, and then you have to come out and publicly endorse your opposing party's Presidential candidate,” Shumlin continued to explain. “So don't be surprised if you see a few Democrat Governors endorsing Romney, and a few Republicans endorsing Obama. It's the price you might have to pay when you're Barbouring.”
Former Governor Mitt Romney was himself the subject of a similar prankster's game before he left office in Massachusetts in 2007. The point of that game was to “Romney” other governors by convincing them to double-back on one of their positions, after which you'd yell his name. For instance, if you said you supported a woman's right to choose for herself if she should have an abortion, only to turn around and claim that abortion is evil and never justifiable, someone might run up to you and yell “ROMNEY!” if they somehow played a role in that. However, like everything else in Romney's life, his namesake game was quite dull and never really took off. - Return to Previous Page
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