Pardon The Pundit News Feed
Trump Reconsiders Run for Office and Historic Washington DC Golf Resort
6/27/2011 10:59 AM Jax -
Although Donald Trump has officially removed his hat from the 2012 Presidential race, a recent interview has revealed that he may still be willing to run. “I’ve given it some serious thought since I bowed out.” says Trump. “At first I felt that the job would be too demeaning, and I could not afford the pay cut.” After what Trump calls some “deep reflection and innovative thinking”, he has emerged with some rather creative solutions to the problems facing the country.
Mr. Trump, longtime business magnate, has stated that he would only consider taking office as President if certain changes were made “for the good of the country”. Trump proposes a bold move, relocating the Oval Office to the top floor of Trump Tower in New York, stating reasons of better security and “economic positioning”. Skeptics argue that Mr. Trump merely wants to keep close tabs on his global real estate and hotel conglomerate, while basking in the lifestyle to which he’s become accustomed.
But Oval Office uprooting is just the tip of this executive’s iceberg. Trump also lays out a plan to incorporate all of the historic public buildings in Washington D.C., including the White House, into a lavish golf resort and theme park. “This country is deep in debt. “explains Trump. “I am a successful businessman who sees an opportunity here to turn things around in classic capitalist fashion.”
“Conservatives want to bring this country back to its beginnings.”, Trump says. “But society can’t turn back the clock. What’s done is done. We need a way to capitalize on our current situation and get us out of debt.” The proposed D.C. Resort would feature luxurious accommodations for both foreign and domestic visitors amid an historical theme park depicting America in her prime. “Picture Club Med meets Disneyland.”, Trump says, beaming. “There’s a fortune to be made in this country’s rich history.”
Profits from the theme park resort would roll directly into the government coffers, minus a share to the Trump Organization for creative rights. Mr. Trump estimates a removal of the national deficit within five years and profits rising into the trillions by the year 2025. - Return to Previous Page
|
|
|
|
ARCHIVES
ADVERTISING - COMEDY AT THE ARLINGTON DRAFTHOUSE
Jay Pharoah from Saturday Night Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan from Super Troopers and Beerfest
Cinematic Titanic (Creators of Mystery Science Theater) LIVE at the Arlington Drafthouse
Porkchop Volcano - Live Short Form Improv Comedy in The Green Room - FREE ADMISSION
Matt Braunger from Letterman, The Tonight Show and MADtv at the Arlington Drafthouse
Neal Brennan Co-Creator of Chappelle’s Show at the Arlington Drafthouse
Powered By Hypertext Media© PardonThePundit - ABOUT | JOIN | TERMS
Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful,
and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.
|