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Butt-Crack Campaigning is The Next Big Thing
6/15/2011 11:20 AM Sal
Albeit nearly three years ago, apparently Joe the Plumber is still having resounding affects on the American Political scene. Just yesterday, it was announced while campaigning throughout the Midwest and the better part of the South, Incumbent President, Barrack Obama, will do all of his stumping exhibiting no less than three inches of butt-crack at any given time.
“I feel it is, um, important,” retorted Obama, “to, um, let the American People know, um, that, I, uh, UM, do indeed have butt-crack, and will, um, gladly, uh, display said butt-crack to the, ah, American people.”
News of the Presidents new campaign tactic spread like wildfire throughout the capital city yesterday, and not to be outdone, both Newt Gingrich and Rush Limbaugh have committed to campaigning throughout those same regions displaying a whopping four inches of butt-crack. In some states, sleeveless shirts may also be donned in an attempt to secure the “Larry-the-Cable-Guy” vote.
“In American politics, it is important to know your voters and relate to them,” quipped Gingrich.
Limbaugh replied as well stating, “Sure the President does indeed have a butt-crack, but every American has a butt-crack. It’s ludicrous to think anyone wants to see a skinny butt-crack, which is why we’re going him one better folks.”
In perhaps what maybe the ultimate in this whole new approach, the DNC has vowed to exhume and display the late, great Teddy Kennedy, displaying no less than five inches of butt-crack in efforts to show the votes, when it comes to reaching out to the Joe the Plumbers of the country, they will not be outdone.
“We feel it is pivotal,” stated current DNC Chair, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, “Not to be outdone by a couple of fatties on the Right. Given we have long relied on dead voters to carry us through elections, we thought there to be no better way than also relying on dead senators displaying butt-cracks as a major role in our campaign tactics.
Regardless of which side of the political fence one finds themselves, one thing is for certain; there will be shortage of asses out on the campaign trail come 2012. - Return to Previous Page
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