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Obama's $3.8 trillion budget for 2013 includes “corporate shock collars”
2/13/2012 8:05 PM Matt Rock
President Obama's administration unveiled a $3.8 trillion budget for fiscal year 2013 this morning, which aims to achieve $1.5 trillion in deficit reductions by raising taxes on the wealthy while also eliminating various corporate tax write-offs.
But the plans massive, ambitious domestic aspects, which include infrastructure and education spending, are being largely ignored today in lieu of one particular element that has many scratching their heads... one item allocates $291 million of the budget to installing shock collars on corporate executives who earn $750,000 per year or more.
“To be frank, we're sick and tired of hearing executives whine about how much they need to pay in taxes each year,” said Heather A. Higginbottom, Deputy Director of the Office of Management and Budget, better known on the Hill as “the OMB.” “So these shock collars will make them ride the lightning each time they bitch about their taxes going up two cents on the dollar, or drone on about how they shouldn't be asked to pay for schools or roads with money they'd much rather spend hoard away for themselves.”
But while many executives are outraged by the proposed measure, some of the world's wealthiest executives don't seem to be bothered in the slightest. “I wear shock collars just for fun,” said David H. Koch, one half of the infamous “Koch Brothers.” “I keep a stable of teenage Taiwanese prostitutes in a dungeon under my home in Nevada, where it's not only legal, but it gives me a tax write-off. Shock collars aren't a bad thing. In fact, I'll be complaining about taxes even more now! Thanks Obama!” - Return to Previous Page
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