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Santorum puts women in their place
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2/16/2012 3:05 PM Floyd Harden - Rick Santorum is showing no signs of wilting under the glare of the increased attention his candidacy has received since the candidate swept caucuses in three states and claimed the mantle of the anti-Romney conservative Republicans have been craving for months. On the contrary, Santorum has doubled-down on recent statements that would seem to put him at odds with women voters, who will play a critical role in picking the next President. As he responded to reporters’ questions at a news conference today, Santorum’s embrace of his recent controversial statements provided a stark contrast to Mitt Romney’s past attempts to back away from the stupid stuff he has said.

When a reporter asked Santorum whether or not he meant it when he said women shouldn’t be in combat, Santorum took the issue head on. “Women in combat would ruin it for the men. As I said before, men instinctively want to protect the weaker sex, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Women are always trying to keep men from fighting, right? If we allowed women on the front lines, they’d nag, nag, nag until the men finally just dropped their weapons and gave up. Where’s the fun in that? War would lose all meaning. How would people even get wounded in the leg, or the testicles or the throat? And God help the guy who gets killed. That’s the kind of thing that drives women full-on batty.”

Santorum didn’t stop there. “And speaking of batty, what’s with all the crazies who are upset that I’m against contraception? According to my close personal friend, God, women should be barefoot and pregnant one-hundred percent of the time. That way they’re fruitful, they’re multiplying, and they’re in no condition to be on the front lines spoiling all the fun for men. A pregnant woman is nature’s way of saying, ‘Hey, world, look at me! I’m the fertile field that has been plowed and sown and now, inside me, there has sprouted a tiny seedling that will soon grow into, if I’m lucky, a little baby boy who will make his place in a place called America, where any boy who dreams big and works hard can become President, as long as he has a wife at his side to do all the dirty work, like cooking, cleaning, child-rearing and not fighting on the front lines.’ Wow! It sure felt good to get all that off my chest! Do I get to be the nominee, now?”

Santorum ended the press conference by reminding everyone of why, a year from now, Barack Obama will probably still be President. “Don’t get me wrong. I’ve always believed that behind every great man is a woman who should never have been given the right to vote.”
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