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NJ Democrats hide gay marriage bill in cheeseburger, hope to avoid Chris Christie veto
2/17/2012 3:05 PM Matt Rock
Lawmakers in the State of New Jersey voted on Thursday to legalize gay marriage in the State, with a vote in the State Assembly coming out favorably at 42-33, which isn't strong enough to override a veto by Governor Chris Christie, who said he plans to veto the bill. But Democrats believe they may have found a clever method of getting the bill onto and off of Christie's desk without a veto stamp... they'll feed it to him.
“Under New Jersey State law, the Governor can digest a bill, and if he poops it out, that's considered a signature,” explained Reed Gusciora, the New Jersey Democratic Assemblyman who is leading the Garden State's gay marriage fight. “So, we're going to pack the bill into a `Five Guys' burger prepared `all the way,' just the way he likes it. He'll pass the bill in more ways than one sometime after that.”
“Most of New Jersey's laws have poop clauses,” explained New Jersey Attorney General Jeffrey S. Chiesa. “Have you ever been on the boardwalk on a hot summer day, and smelled that, well, `boardwalk smell' that never escapes your memory? That `dirty diaper filled with sand and crab meat' smell? If you've smelled that, then you know why our laws have poop clauses. It's pretty obvious.”
But Christie, who wants voters to decide gay marriage on a ballot, has detected attempts like this before. Last summer, Christie pulled a regulatory bill out of a turkey sandwich, and three months later, he narrowly avoided legalizing marijuana by spotting a bill hidden away inside a cake. Still, Gusciora is confident the ruse will work this time.
“It's Five Guys. They're the best burgers in the United States, possibly in the world, and extremely addictive. Christie can't resist them... who can? I'm not even an eighth his size, and let me tell you, you could put a Tolstoy novel in one of them without me noticing!” - Return to Previous Page
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