Arizonans rehearse for outlandish behavior at tomorrow's GOP debate
2/20/2012 3:05 PM Matt Rock
The State of Arizona has quite the reputation of insanity to live up to, and at tomorrow's televised CNN debate in Mesa, the Copper State plans on putting on quite the show. An “audience rehearsal” took place earlier today in a hotel conference room, and those who will watch the debates live and in person showed the media in attendance just how thoroughly-practiced they've become.
“At the earlier GOP debates, Republicans acted pretty nutty. Booing a gay soldier and cheering the idea of letting a poor person die are just two examples of how insane people have been at these things,” said Clark Morgan, 54, of Tuscon. “We Arizonans need to show the rest of America that we aren't just the Copper State, or the Grand Canyon State, but we're the Crazy State, too.”
The audience worked under the tutelage of an unidentified instructor, who would drill the audience on reactions to certain phrases. At the mere mention of President Obama, gay marriage, evolution, Islam, Judaism, New York, Hollywood, Obamacare, eating vegetables, science, rock and roll music, alternative fuels, dancing, soccer, Bill Clinton, languages that aren't English, mathematics, The Dixie Chicks, MSNBC, the word “ethnic,” or abortion, the audience would explode in a frenzy of curse words, thrown chairs, pulled-out hair, and cutting themselves.
Meanwhile, the audience also rehearsed exploding in applause, firing guns into the air indoors, and other hysterics whenever they heard anything appealing, like mentions of the Bible, country music, Tim Tebow, gun ownership, drowning pregnant teens, the deportation of illegals and homosexuals, castrating the poor so they can't make more poor people, firebombing the next Occupy Wall Street encampment that springs up, and Ronald Reagan.
“We're quite confident that tomorrow's debate in Mesa, Arizona will be the end-all, be-all of crazy behavior from an audience that you'll see on television in your lifetime,” said Morgan. “We're going to have this audience ripping and roaring, loaded up on booze and Rush Limbaugh radio and ready to prove to the Country that Arizona breeds the greatest lunatics in the nation. Bring it on, Mississippi!” - Return to Previous Page