Pardon The Pundit News Feed
Santorum films an “It Gets Better” video, manages to offend himself
2/26/2012 7:05 AM Matt Rock
GOP primary contender Rick Santorum has filmed an “It Gets Better” video, not realizing the project was created by Dan Savage, who also made the website “spreadingsantorum.com,” which for a long time topped Google results with a grotesque, and also quite hilarious, “definition” of “Santorum,” a response to the candidate's storied history of gay-bashing.
“I don't think Rick Santorum has any clue what our project is about,” said Savage, a columnist and gay rights activist who would probably think this article was funny if he ever read it. “I haven't seen his video yet, and I don't know what he says in it, since you guys aren't going to invent his quote until the fourth paragraph. But hey, if he's doing it the way we want it done, maybe we'll take down `Spreading Santorum' and start making amends.”
Not so fast, Mr. Savage. The “It Gets Better” videos are intended to help LGBT teens cope with bullying, looking past the bigotry and vitriol that some in our society blast at them with the hope of a brighter tomorrow. But Santorum obviously didn't understand the premise when he made his own video, which the campaign has not yet released.
“It gets better,” Santorum claims at the start of the short video, which we've seen a draft of because we're cool like that. “You made a very difficult decision when you chose to be a homosexual. It's okay, though... we all make mistakes. Your mistake resulted in eternal damnation, but hey, Jesus still loves you. All you have to do is love him back. But not in a gay way. I don't expect you to realize that you're sinning. You'll figure that out when you're older. Until then, don't let the bullying get you down. Do you know how often I'm picked on for wearing a sweater vest? I know that bullying is terrible, but trust me, it gets better. Oh, and God hates F...”
Santorum stops himself short in the video. “Jesus, even `I' think I'm going to far here! This is just terrible! What sort of horrible person am I? I'm exactly the sort of person who would belittle a homosexual! I'm the sort of uneducated, morally-bankrupt bully that would actually say something like this! I'm such a huge tool!” - Return to Previous Page
ADVERTISING - COMEDY AT THE ARLINGTON DRAFTHOUSE
Cool Cow Comedy Showcase in The Green Room - ONLY $10 (Featuring Ryan Conner)
Jay Pharoah from Saturday Night Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan from Super Troopers and Beerfest
Cinematic Titanic (Creators of Mystery Science Theater) LIVE at the Arlington Drafthouse
Porkchop Volcano - Live Short Form Improv Comedy in The Green Room - FREE ADMISSION
Matt Braunger from Letterman, The Tonight Show and MADtv at the Arlington Drafthouse
Neal Brennan Co-Creator of Chappelle’s Show at the Arlington Drafthouse
Powered By Hypertext Media
© PardonThePundit - ABOUT
Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful,
and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.