Pardon The Pundit News Feed
McCain Calls for Widespread Blame of Illegal Immigrants
7/13/2011 9:16 AM Frank Walters -
Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) recently said illegal immigrants are responsible for the devastating wildfires that recently raged through Arizona.
Initially, his accusation was thought to be made as evidence supporting immigration reform and stricter border patrol. However, McCain said he was just exercising a right all U.S. citizens should have -- the right to blame one problem per year on illegal immigrants.
"Illegal immigrants already do so much of our dirty work here," McCain said. "Why shouldn't they take the blame when we screw up, too?"
According to McCain, each U.S. citizen should get one pass, similar to Monopoly's "Get Out of Jail Free card." Those with an indiscretion such as committing a crime, causing an accident or cheating on a spouse would just submit the card to local police and all would be forgiven.
Law enforcement would do weekly counts of collected cards received, and a corresponding number of illegal aliens would be rounded up and punished accordingly.
"None of us are perfect here in the U.S.," McCain said. "We're pretty damn close, of course, but not perfect. To help that along, I don't see why we can't just blame things on people who shouldn't be here anyways, right?"
Arizona resident Cletus Jones recently served five years in prison for making and distributing methamphetamine. Jones said he fully supports McCain's idea of letting every U.S. citizen off the hook once per year.
"So what, I ran a little meth lab out of my trailer," Jones said. "Why did I have to do time when one of them illegals could have instead? Where's the justice there?" - Return to Previous Page
|
|
|
|
ARCHIVES
ADVERTISING - COMEDY AT THE ARLINGTON DRAFTHOUSE
Cool Cow Comedy Showcase in The Green Room - ONLY $10 (Featuring Ryan Conner)
 Jay Pharoah from Saturday Night Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
 Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan from Super Troopers and Beerfest
 Cinematic Titanic (Creators of Mystery Science Theater) LIVE at the Arlington Drafthouse
 Porkchop Volcano - Live Short Form Improv Comedy in The Green Room - FREE ADMISSION
 Matt Braunger from Letterman, The Tonight Show and MADtv at the Arlington Drafthouse
 Neal Brennan Co-Creator of Chappelle’s Show at the Arlington Drafthouse


Powered By Hypertext Media© PardonThePundit - ABOUT | JOIN | TERMS
Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful,
and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.
|