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Romney veers further to the right
3/2/2012 7:05 AM Floyd Harden -
Mitt Romney continued today with his efforts to appear more conservative than his rivals for the Republican nomination as he staked out positions more extreme than those recently taken by both Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum. At a campaign stop in Toledo, Ohio, Romney announced that he opposes kindergarten and that America will have a base on the sun by the end of his first term. Romney then one-upped Ron Paul by promising to return the American economy to the shiny beads and beaver pelt standard that preceded the gold standard.
As supporters enthusiastically embraced each of Romney’s bold new positions, Romney went off script, playing to the crowd as he spontaneously began taking even wackier stands: “Folks, when I’m President, every one of you small businessman job creators making over twenty million dollars a year, will not only get a tax break, you’ll get a check for another twenty million back from Uncle Sam. And I promise that not only will I stop illegal immigration, I’ll deport all immigrants, legal or otherwise, because American Americans are what made America great in the first place, not Asian Americans or Italian Americans or Native Americans. And anyone who tells you I won’t take on entitlements hasn’t met the future President Romney. When I’m in charge, not only am I going to reform Social Security and Medicare, I’m going to tackle the real problem: old people. I’m going to get rid of old people by sending them all back to the 20th Century. And by the way, if you think Bin Laden is dead now, wait till I re-kill him by sending in Seal Teams 7, 8 and 9! By the time I’m finished with him, he’ll be a billion times deader!”
A revved-up Romney concluded his speech by again outflanking Rick Santorum. “I promise to go beyond rescinding women’s rights to vote, achieve orgasm and use commas. When I’m President, I’ll revoke a woman’s right to use punctuation of any kind. I’m not even going to let them have periods!” - Return to Previous Page
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