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President Obama asks SEAL Team Six to pick his kids up from school, make him lunch
3/2/2012 8:05 PM Matt Rock -
It's no secret that President Obama is a big fan of SEAL Team Six. The President has famously used the secretive Special Forces team to bring down Osama Bin Laden and Somali pirates in 2009 and 2012, as well as having them drug GOP presidential candidates so they'll keep making outlandish comments on the campaign trail. But some Pentagon insiders are worried that the President might be using them just a little bit too much.
“He called in ST6 last week to pick up Sasha and Malia from school,” said one anonymous Pentagon source. “These guys don't play around. They arrived early, at about twelve-hundred hours, setting up sniper nests and keeping M4 assault rifles trained on Billy Chase, a bully who tried to take another student's lunch money earlier in the day. The operation was a success, with zero casualties, but yeesh, talk about an improper allocation of resources!”
Another source told PTP that the President has also used SEAL Team Six to make him lunch a few days ago. “The President had a craving for a club sandwich and nachos. Who did he call? His SEAL team, that's who! One of them got some mayo on his third trigger finger, and another taste-tested an onion even though he was allergic to them. But in the end, there were no serious injuries, and that was the best fucking sandwich anyone has ever tasted!”
But while many are criticizing President Obama for misusing the famed SEAL team, at least one anonymous White House insider thinks it's all being done in the best interests of the American people. “We live in a dangerous world. Syria is on the brink of civil war. Iran is closing in on nuclear weapons. North Korea has a new leader who is very much a hardliner that we need to keep close tabs on. Justin Bieber has turned eighteen. So if the President keeps these guys on their toes with mundane tasks, it's all just to keep them active, because who knows what we might need these guys to do tomorrow!” - Return to Previous Page
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