Pardon The Pundit News Feed
Weiner's House Seat Sold on eBay
6/26/2011 11:17 AM Katie -
Common wisdom in Washington has long been that the candidate with the most money will win the election. New York Governor Andrew Cuomo decided to cut out the middleman – the electorate – and sell Representative Anthony Weiner’s recently vacated seat on eBay.
Bidders included CEOs of numerous banks and insurance companies. The highlight of the intense auction was a bidding war between a Saudi oil executive and a wealthy Chinese investor. In a surprising twist, however, the auction’s winner was a housewife from Nebraska, Emily Monroe.
“I don’t actually have the 1.6 million dollars,” said Monroe, who giggled her way through a press conference. “I just got so caught up in the action that I wasn’t paying attention to the numbers anymore.”
If Monroe isn’t able to pay for her winning bid in the next ten days, the seat will go to the next highest bidder. Monroe said that she and her husband are considering borrowing against their house and taking money from their children’s college funds, but it is unlikely that they will be able to come up with the money in time.
“It sure would be exciting, though, wouldn’t it?” Monroe said. “This is way better than winning a fake designer handbag or pirated DVDs.”
The runner-up bidder’s real identity has not yet been disclosed, but the person’s user name is reported to be BirtherTrump.
According to Cuomo, the proceeds from the auction will be divided between paying off the national debt and upgrading the House and Senate gym facilities.
President Obama said that he is considering letting the 2012 presidential election be decided via auction as well. Recent projections have shown that he will be able to fundraise more money than the Republican candidates.
“Some may view this auction as anti-democratic,” said Obama in a press conference. “That may be true, but this is the way things have worked in Washington for years. We need to either change the system, or just be honest about it. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it's that real change is hard. Fundraising, on the other hand, is pretty easy.” - Return to Previous Page
|
|
|
|
ARCHIVES
ADVERTISING - COMEDY AT THE ARLINGTON DRAFTHOUSE
Nick Di Paolo Live at the Drafthouse Comedy Theater
 James Adomian Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
 Porkchop Volcano - Live Short Form Improv Comedy in The Green Room - FREE ADMISSION
 Fortune Feimster Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
 Andy Dick Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
 Sean Patton from Late night with Jimmy Fallon and Conan at LivingSocial's 918 F Street June 14th & 15th


Powered By Hypertext Media© PardonThePundit - ABOUT | JOIN | TERMS
Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful,
and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.
|