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Romney says he's "the fairest of them all"
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7/2/2011 10:02 AM Floyd - At a campaign stop in New Hampshire today, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney asserted that, of all the presidential hopefuls, he is the prettiest. Romney credited his chiseled features for making him the frontrunner for his party’s nomination. “I look in the mirror every morning and I say to myself, ‘Damn!’ I know that may sound vain, but look at me. Damn!”

Romney went on to say that even on a bad day, he is more handsome than President Obama because, “Adversity brings out the rugged in my rugged good looks while it only makes Obama work harder at finding complex solutions for complex problems. I ask you, where is the handsomeness in that? Honestly, I don’t mean to say that Obama’s ugly, but compared to me, Obama’s ugly.”

During his remarks, Romney took pains to avoid mentioning his Republican opponents by name, but did imply that they would need to get some work done if they wanted to compete against him. The one possible exception to this rule seemed to be Senator Tim Pawlenty, whom Romney seemed to be referring to when he said, “That short guy is so goofy looking he’s almost handsome, but only in a quirky vice-presidential way, not a rugged presidential way.”

After his speech, Romney took questions from the crowd of mostly average-looking people who had gathered to get a firsthand look at the attractive candidate. One onlooker confronted Romney, asking him how he could justify continuing to defend the healthcare law he crafted while governor of Massachusetts against accusations that it closely resembles Obamacare. Refusing to take the bait, Romney was ready with a thoughtful response, “I’m handsome. Are you? No? Then shut up!”
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