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Romney to have sex change operation!
3/11/2012 3:05 PM Floyd Harden
Mitt Romney may have finally sewn up the Republican nomination.
Romney announced today that he will undergo sexual reassignment surgery tomorrow just in time for the next round of Republican primary voting scheduled for Tuesday. Romney said he made the decision to become a woman because, as he put it, “Women voters need someone they can relate to and I’m the only candidate willing to sacrifice my penis in order to make it look like I care about a block of voters whose support will be critical to victory, not just on Tuesday, but in November when our party’s nominee will face a President who supports women’s rights but who still has a johnson. By the way, like my Republican rivals, I believe women should have all the rights men give them. On the other hand, after tomorrow, I’ll be a man trapped in a woman’s body so I’ll be able to confer upon myself whatever rights I want – like the right to a two-minute post coital cuddle, or the right to make less money than a man working in the same job, or the right to talk when football is on TV, or the right to have a vaginal ultrasound any time I want. I can’t wait to be a chick!”
Romney’s announcement drew immediate reactions from the other Republican contenders. Rick Santorum accused Romney of “…pandering in the worst way. He’s willing to become a slu-, uh, I mean a prostitu-, uh, I mean a woman? Just to win an election? Are there any depths to which Mitt Romney won’t sink?!”
Newt Gingrich asserted that Romney’s sexual reassignment “…will fundamentally change the dynamics of this race, though, on a personal note, I think I just found wife number four!”
Ron Paul had a more optimistic view of Romney’s decision. “Well, at least after the operation his flip-flopping days will be over. Tee hee hee!” - Return to Previous Page
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