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Mitt Romney attempting to purchase the White House, literally
3/16/2012 8:05 PM Matt Rock -
GOP primary frontrunner Mitt Romney has decided to take things to the next level. Upon realizing that Republicans just don't like him much, and that he'll most likely lose in the general election to President Obama even after he does eventually win the GOP primary, the former Massachusetts Governor has decided to forgo the election process entirely, and outright purchase the White House itself.
“The White House is a prime piece of real estate,” said Romney. “Zillow.com estimates that it's worth $258,720,400. My estimated worth is $260 million. And I'm a rich white male, so really, I could probably get a mortgage for the White House and pay just a fraction of that each month! The mortgage payment is estimated at under a million a year. Heck, I lose more than that in my sofas over time! This is a smart investment, I say!”
“Look, I'm starting to come to grips with the fact that I'll never be President. But if I live in the President's House, and sit around in the Oval Office every day, and hire some poor people to pretend they're my senior staff, wouldn't I be President anyway? It's an excellent investment, my kids can inherit it... this is just a great place to live!”
Romney says he'll be contacting real estate agents to see if they can chat with President Obama about selling the home, though he admits he isn't really sure who gets to make that call. “It doesn't say anything about the White House in the Constitution, does it? So who actually owns it? I mean, what's to stop someone from moving in, and just taking it over from there? Does the President actually own it? Can he sell it? I'll be finding out pretty soon. One thing is for sure, though, I'll be moving into the White House in January one way or the other!” - Return to Previous Page
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