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Shirtless photos of Santorum surface; nation begs Gingrich to keep his private
3/19/2012 7:05 AM Alyson Durden -
A tense nation held its breath another day following disclosure that recent photos showing a shirtless Rick Santorum on vacation were real. In what has become a hallmark of the never-ending 2012 presidential campaign, many worried Newt Gingrich would try to use this to his advantage and release photos of his own.
"Speaker Gingrich is far too dignified a person to reduce himself to this level," said Anthony Blankley, spokesperson. "But now that you mention it, maybe people will start voting for him if we promise NOT to release any. Think that will win some people over? Nothing else seems to be working."
Frightened voters in several states called disaster preparedness hotlines looking for guidance about what to do in the event of such a calamity. The threat level is similar to radiation from the Japan nuclear reactor disaster or the Deepwater Horizon oil spill. FEMA spokeswoman Helen Langan told us, "The worst thing people can do is panic. We know how scary the thought of a shirtless Newt Gingrich is, but it might not be quite as bad as we all think. Maybe he's like a vampire -- his naked flesh doesn't appear in photos or in the mirror. We have always assumed that is how he is able to shower and survive the ordeal." - Return to Previous Page
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