Pardon The Pundit News Feed
Romney touts his economic credentials
3/19/2012 3:05 PM Floyd Harden -
Fresh off his victory in Puerto Rico, Mitt Romney made his strongest case yet for why he, not Rick Santorum, should be the Republican to face Barack Obama in the general election this fall. In an exclusive interview with PTP, an energized Romney had this to say:
“Look, I’m an economic heavyweight. Rick Santorum, like Barack Obama, is an economic lightweight. I’ve worked in the real world and I know how the real world economy operates. Let me give you an example. If my campaign outspends your campaign four to one in a state where, all things being equal, you win, I win. Why do I win? Because all things are never equal! Why are all things never equal? Because I’ve got all this money, stupid! It’s simple economics. Money buys stuff. Cool stuff like yachts, cars, people, immortality, possibly the White House if I can figure out who owns it, more people, a highly sophisticated 5-kiloton nuclear device small enough to carry around in this Gucci handbag and, oh yeah, elections! Santorum doesn’t seem to get that. Otherwise he’d be spending a lot more money than he is right now. Wait a second! Hold the phone! He doesn’t have the money to spend, does he? Well guess what: I do! I have money literally coming out of my butt! Seriously, I eat $20 dollar bills and then I use $100 dollar bills for toilet paper. And let me tell you, there’s nothing more satisfying than the feeling I get when I put the finishing touches on my personal business by peeling off a handful of Ben Franklins and, let’s see, how do I put this delicately... wiping my ass with money!!! Of course, being filthy rich has its disadvantages. Ha!!! No it doesn’t! I’m totally messing with you! Being filthy rich is utterly, completely, insanely awesome! Money money money money money!!! Oh that reminds me, who’s up for lunch? I’m buying.” - Return to Previous Page
|
|
|
|
ARCHIVES
ADVERTISING - COMEDY AT THE ARLINGTON DRAFTHOUSE
Nick Di Paolo Live at the Drafthouse Comedy Theater
 Na'im Lynn Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
 James Adomian Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
 Porkchop Volcano - Live Short Form Improv Comedy in The Green Room - FREE ADMISSION
 Fortune Feimster Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
 Andy Dick Live at the Arlington Drafthouse
 Sean Patton from Late night with Jimmy Fallon and Conan at LivingSocial's 918 F Street June 14th & 15th


Powered By Hypertext Media© PardonThePundit - ABOUT | JOIN | TERMS
Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful,
and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.
|