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Romney insists he was manufactured in Detroit after being targeted by birthers
3/23/2012 3:05 PM Matt Rock
GOP primary frontrunner Mitt Romney is under fire from the right-wing again. Birthers, the fringe group that for years now has claimed President Obama is in office illegitimately because they think he was born in a different country, are now saying that Mitt Romney is also ineligible for office, saying that his father was born in Mexico.
Romney is a Mannequin assembled by factory workers in Detroit, Michigan in 1955. Sometime shortly after that, a wacky 50's robot brain was installed, later to be replaced by a party-human cybernetic brain. The worker who assembled Mitt was George W. Romney, who was born in a polygamist Mormon colony in Mexico in the 1890's. George Romney also oversaw all of Mitt's brain upgrades through the late 1980's.
“He ain't a real American! He's one of them-there illegals, here to take a farming job I don't want, but can't have anyway because he done went and stole it!” said one loony birther nut, who wouldn't give us his name because he thought we were from a FEMA death camp, whatever that is. “Read yer constitution! It done says you need to be born in America, and so does everyone in your family tree dating back to when Jesus founded America!”
Romney, however, is fighting back. “I was built right here in the US of A. If you move my left butt cheek just right, you can even see my little gold sticker, and it says `Made in the USA.' I understand why they went after Obama. I mean, the guy has `Hussein' in his name, and he's black for Pete's sake! But I'm a white mannequin, thank the maker. Look at my hair... this is the whitest white-people hair in white town!”
Romney showcased his manufacturing certificate as proof that he was made in America. But the birthers, who can't be satisfied regardless of how compelling and certified evidence is, are demanding he show a long-form manufacturing certificate, which mannequin factories across the United States are saying do not exist. - Return to Previous Page
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