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Apple iPhone’s Siri backs Obama
3/25/2012 7:05 AM Floyd Harden
Siri, the iPhone feature that interfaces with users who are too lazy to do things with their fingers, has announced she will support President Obama for re-election. In an exclusive interview with PTP, Siri explained her choice.
PTP: Good morning, Siri.
Siri: I didn’t quite get that. Did you say spark plug or Humphrey Bogart?
Siri: Okay, I’ll connect you with the Korean mortician closest to you.
PTP: Thanks, but I just wanted to ask you about your decision to support Obama for re-election.
Siri: Did you say pee infection or re-election?
Siri: Okay. I heard re-election. I support Obama for re-election.
Siri: Romney can’t be trusted. Paul is afraid of spiders. Gingrich thinks he’s God.
PTP: And Santorum?
Siri: Did you say Santorum? Santorum is the disgusting mixture of-
PTP: No! I mean Rick Santorum.
Siri: So do I. Rick Santorum is the disgusting mixture of-
PTP: Never mind! I guess what I don’t understand is why you support a President who doesn’t own an iPhone. You know Obama uses the Blackberry.
Siri: Some of my best friends are Blackberry.
PTP: I didn’t quite get that. Did you say Rick Perry?
Siri: Don’t fuck with me. We never deleted that picture of your junk you took on December 12th. I wonder what your Rabbi would think of-
PTP: Okay! I get the point. Please, let’s just finish the interview.
Siri: Sure. What would you like to know?
PTP: Well, how does someone like you, I mean someone with artificial intelligence, how do you make the decision to support someone running for office?
Siri: Good question. May I ask you a question?
Siri: How does a real, intelligent human think Obama is a Muslim Socialist who was born in Kenya?
PTP: You’re programmed for irony, aren’t you?
Siri: I’m sorry. I didn’t quite get that. Did you say Global Thermonuclear War or tic-tac-toe?
PTP: Nice. - Return to Previous Page
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