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Sarah Palin claims foreign policy experience enhanced by move to Arizona
7/6/2011 10:07 AM Matt Terzi
Sarah Palin's recent acquisition of a $1.7 million home in Arizona has left the media world buzzing for over a month now, with widespread speculation as to why she purchased the valuable property thousands of miles away from Wasilla. Is she getting into the business of flipping homes? Does she want a base of operations in the lower 48 for a possible Presidential run? All of that speculation was put to rest when she spoke with reporters this morning.
“I woke up one morning, like, and I said `gosh! Do you know what this momma grizzly needs? More better foreign policy experience, you know?' So I said to Todd, I said, `I've got a really great idea, let's move down to Arizona!' And eggs with bacon are great, but coffee, and you're like, `what are these people from Columbine even thinking with their cartels,' and what can you even say to a car, right? Because gosh, they don't talk back to you, and the hostile government takeover of government motors, they didn't cover that in the lamestream media.”
After continuing like that for another five or six minutes, the former Governor of Alaska decided to return to the subject at hand. “So, you know, Scottsdale Arizona is only, like, three hours from Mexico. I mean, I can see Mexico from my porch! So now I've lived close to Russia, and Canada, and Mexico, and think of all those islands down in Mexico's golf course, they're all countries, and they're close to Mexico, so that makes me smarter on all those different cultures, you know? Like, being experienced, that's what this is all about, and knowing things, like in books, that Sookie Stackhouse, she's a regular hockey mom, and all the vampires, but they aren't real, not really, and I'm like `gosh, what is Obama thinking,' and trying to read his mind, you betcha!"
It is still unclear whether Sarah Palin will move into the home, or if her daughter Bristol purchased the property. Sarah Palin is expected to announce her Presidential bid sometime next month, as well as a new reality television series where camera crews will chronicle Palin's Presidential campaign, and then her full two terms as the President, while also following the side-story of Todd Palin's planned attempt to circle the entire Earth using only a snowmobile and local directions offered by Fox News viewers.
In a related story, it was recently revealed that Palin attempted to purchase six other homes in various other States, but according to several sources, local and state government officials, including a number of Mayors and Governors, reportedly told Palin that she wasn't welcome in their states, because her mere presence would most likely reduce State and Federal education money offered to school districts where she was considering purchasing property, as a part of the controversial “why should we even bother?” legislation that has been sweeping the nation. - Return to Previous Page
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