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Romney 3D!
4/18/2012 8:30 PM Floyd Harden -
Pardon The Pundit has learned that the same technology that was used to project a 3D image of Tupac Shakur on stage at the Coachella Music Festival has enabled the Mitt Romney campaign for the last three years to project a 3D image rather than an actual living, breathing human candidate - a strategy that has been met with limited success.
According to a campaign spokesman, while Romney's image has been painstakingly programmed to come across as human, there have been a few glitches along the way. "Yeah, when we started down this path, we had no idea how hard it was going to be. We wound up running into a few, you know, speed bumps. Romney 3D talked about how many cadillacs his wife has, tried to make $10,000 dollar bets, opposed the U.S. automakers bailout, and insisted it would be a good idea to harvest poor people’s organs to extend the lives of rich people. Of course there's nothing wrong with any of that as long as you don't say it out loud. I guess we had a brain-to-mouth filter problem for a while there. Also, the software kept re-booting so that 3D Romney's positions on everything from Health Care to Global Warming to how much wood would a wood chuck chuck were all over the map. Still, compared to the actual Romney, the 3D version has been a huge success. I mean the real Mitt Romney is pretty much a two-dimensional character. Heck, rumor has it that even Mrs. Romney prefers the holographic projection of her husband to the real thing, especially in the sack. Technology rocks!"
Asked about Romney 3D's recent decision to short list President Obama as a potential vice-presidential pick, the spokesman suggested that Romney 3D may have developed the capacity to learn. "We're pretty proud of him; that was something he thought of all on his own. Yep, after all the dumb stuff Romney 3D has pulled, he finally came up with a great idea! Now all we have to do is teach him how to tie his own shoes and simulate compassion." - Return to Previous Page
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