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Romney backer switches to Gingrich after dog poops in living room in protest
4/21/2012 8:14 PM Matt Rock -
A prominent Romney supporter in Delaware announced yesterday that he is switching teams and endorsing underdog Newt Gingrich, even though Gingrich can't possibly win the primary. Kent County GOP chairman Hans Reigle explained on Friday that it wasn't policy or prose that inspired the shift, but that his family's dog, named Lucky, had put on an incredible series of protests, which culminated with his ruining Reigle's favorite easy chair.
“From the very moment I endorsed Mitt Romney, my dog, Lucky, has fought me at every turn,” explained Reigle. “My wife and I would try to have, you know, `alone time,' and then there'd be Lucky, jumping up on the bed with his leash in his mouth, laying down right between us, and as everyone whose anyone knows, you can't get it on with a pet watching.”
And as the campaign went on, Reigle explained, Lucky's protests would grow more diabolical. “He tried to hump the leg of a prominent Delaware Democrat that met with me on some local matters. He peed on my favorite shoes when I cracked wise about the Obama family's dog. And even though I lay out the `living' section of the paper for him to do his business on, I always end up finding news stories about Mitt Romney, all messy. He intentionally goes and finds these articles and targets Romney's face, every time! And on a few instances, he intentionally, uh, `sabotaged' the sports section, before I even had a chance to read it! Talk about a pest!”
“The real boiling point happened yesterday. Lucky pooped in my favorite easy chair, a `gift' that I didn't `receive' until I sat down hurriedly to get my shoes on for work that morning. I understand that Mitt Romney was abusive to his dog in the past. I agree, wholeheartedly, that it was wrong of him to stick his dog in a pet carrier and strap it to the roof of his car. Only a monster would do something like that. But Lucky's form of domestic terrorism isn't really the solution. Well, I guess it is, because he won.”
“So, I've decided to make the switch to Gingrich. I realize he can't win. I think even Newt is smart enough to see that. Lucky isn't thrilled about it, but he isn't complaining, either. This morning I saw him humping our neighbor's dog, Fifi, and so I take that as a sign that he understands who Newt Gingrich is and what he stands for. If Lucky approves, then so do I!” - Return to Previous Page
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