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Romney, Congressmen hospitalized after Obama says intentional car crashes are bad
4/23/2012 4:39 PM Matt Rock -
Presumptive GOP nominee Mitt Romney and eight Republican congressmen all experienced car accidents earlier today, all happening within a span of about 3.5 hours, after President Obama passively stated that “intentionally crashing your car sounds like a terrible idea.” While most were taken to the hospital, none were seriously injured, beyond a few scraped knees and bruised egos.
The President was meeting with members of the video game industry, who explained that their artistic vision should be treated no differently than that of a writer or a filmmaker, and that the misconception that video games are targeted at minors is false, since the key demographic of gamers ranges between 20 and 40 years old. The President watched a clip of a player smashing into other cars for fun in “Grand Theft Auto IV,” which is when he made the controversial comment.
“President Obama should be ashamed of his remarks,” said House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, himself having been involved in a minor car accident earlier today. “I blame him for my fender-bender today. He ordered me to crash my car by saying that people that crash their cars intentionally are less intelligent than those on the left that don't crash their cars intentionally! You'll be getting my repair bill in the mail, Mr. President!”
“I crashed my car today for freedom!” proclaimed Congresswoman Michele Bachmann. “You can always count on the Obama administration to try and tell real Americans how to live their lives day by day. Well, the American people are saying `we'll have no more of your socialist ways, Obama! We'll crash our cars if we want to, without all your snooty, uppity elitism making us feel bad about it!' Crashing your car on purpose is a great American pass-time and I refuse to stand by idly while this President makes a mockery of one of our most treasured institutions!”
Today's events bare a striking resemblance to an incident that transpired in May of 2010, when nine congressmen and two senators drank and ate from a public sewer, after President Obama said that the American people “don't want raw sewage in their food supplies.” The President was blamed for their behavior as well, and was sent an invoice for their dry cleaning. - Return to Previous Page
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